The Protection of Children
The very best part of my job is listening. The head space that I need to be in to do my job can be almost meditative at times. And the reward is the stories that are offered, the fears that are expressed, the experiences with food and culture and bodies and health. Because I am not a therapist, I don’t need to do anything but make space for whatever my client thinks may be pertinent to our work, to my understanding and my insight. As a parent, I know firsthand the constant doubt, worry and frustration that comes with taking care of other humans. It is a gift to offer a safe space for the children that I work with and the parents that grow to trust me with an aspect of their child’s health.
In order to do this deep listening, and make space for my clients, my friends and my own family, I avoid the news. I avoid spending too much time tuning in to the suffering outside of my immediate community. With recent developments that will directly affect my community, I have had to open my ears and eyes to the proclamations, legislature and attacks that are targeting children. I am heartbroken that years of work being done in offices, like my own, are being undermined and potentially ruined by short-sighted and uninformed policy makers, especially the work being done for our most vulnerable: our children.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recently released new guidelines that focused on weight loss measures for kids. These recommendations included surgeries and medications. There are many widely agreed-upon theories as to why they would make such egregious recommendations, but the issue is that they are missing the main point. If you ascribe to obesity being “the reason” for a variety of chronic health conditions (which has been refuted in a plethora of research) these concerns about the future health of children in larger bodies does not begin to compare to the terrifying danger of children with eating disorders. Right now, children around the country are suffering from the second most dangerous mental health condition. Personally, my 14 year old child goes to a public school where she is close friends with sweet, delightful, smart and conscientious kids, many of whom are currently suffering from disordered eating and eating disorders requiring medical intervention. Our office’s influx of new teens with eating disorders tripled in the pandemic and we often could not locate medical treatment for these clients because the facilities were full. In addition, the complexity and the severity is on the rise. Meaning, more kids are at crisis level, having had dangerous eating behaviors for so long that they need to leave home and school and be admitted to the hospital before any other intervention has been tried. These suffering children were not adequately addressed in the AAP policies. By directing pediatricians to focus and target weight loss as a goal, they exacerbated the eating disorder epidemic we are currently fighting. We already have heard stories in which pediatricians have missed signs of eating disorders or made dangerous recommendations for their patients before the APP made this dangerous directive. I am in fear of what will happen now.
I watched my first documentary on the experience of a transgendered woman’s physical and mental journey when I was 19. I was captivated by her difficult voyage to be her authentic self. Her journey was unspeakably difficult and it was miraculous she made it out alive. Watching this documentary began my educational journey about gender identities and other aspects of queer culture of which I shared an identity as a bi-sexual woman. When I joined Your Life Nutrition, I hoped I could put the years of self-education I had done with continued learning and research toward supporting gender expansive clients. Once you have heard a few stories of people who identify as transgendered, you get to hear some connected storylines. Stories of children and teens who have hated themselves to the point of self harm and suicidal ideation. Stories of parents who are desperate to keep their kids alive by finding the best therapist, doctor, endocrinologist, psychologist and even dietitian to help save their kids life. Stories of a child withering away in front of their eyes as they restrict their food in an effort to get their body to conform to a shape that makes more sense to them, that is more livable. Stories of the hours and hours taken researching and calling offices and insurance and caregivers to get this care. Stories of the doctors, therapists, psychologists and caregivers who treat these patients going home everyday exhausted from holding a mother’s hand as she searches for her last resort, looking into the terrified eyes of a child who is on death’s door from malnutrition and begging a society to listen to science. Clearly, the policy makers who are revoking medical interventions for trans youth have not heard these stories or they would not make the dangerous decisions they are making. Discounting and refusing life saving treatment to kids is not a safe decision as a policy.
When I reflect, I feel disgusted and horrified by the politicians and organizations that are revoking basic human rights and creating policies that will destroy lives. They will have blood on their hands. The blood of trans and non-binary youth who won’t survive without the life saving treatments when they commit suicide. The blood of people who will fall prey to eating disorders as a result of being put on diets, weight loss drugs and weight loss surgeries in their youth. My heart breaks for the families who will be misled by doctors, politicians and “experts” to drive home the message “Child, you are broken. You are flawed. We need to fix you in order to accept you into our society.” I know this to be true. I have been the person who hears the stories as many people have come out to me with their true gender, true sexual identity and exhaled an audible sigh of relief when shame is no longer the prevailing emotion in every minute of their day. I feel sorry for how in the dark, how clueless and disconnected these politicians and organizations are. This is not hyperbole, many innocent humans will die because of their decisions. The data and research show this to be inevitable.
As a white cis-gender woman, I am called to use my privilege. I am obligated to speak for those whose stories must be heard. Stories that we broadcast in our recent assembly on Eating Disorder Prevention at a local high school. I can continue to do my work with individuals with marginalized identities. I can continue to participate in speaking up, spreading awareness and doing eating disorder education for anyone who will listen. I can also feel so much sadness that these policy makers have demonstrated they have never had the gift I’ve been given of deep listening. They have never set aside their egos and their agendas to tend to humans and hear their experiences and open their hearts to those truths. Those beautiful truths that need to be told in order to save lives.
To learn more or to find ways you can help, follow these links.
https://www.wpath.org/about/mission-and-vision
https://www.theprojectheal.org/donate
https://www.diversifydietetics.org/donate
https://members.asdah.org/Donate
https://eatingdisorderscoalition.org/inner_template/get_involved/get-involved-donate.html